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Wednesday, May 5, 2010

reminding myself to stay POSITIVE...

After my last post I just wrote, I realized how negative it is....and I just want to remind myself of the power of trying to stay positive.  Sometimes I let my fears get the best of me, but what good is that??  In reality, I have no control over any of this.  The only thing I could have had control over (ending this pregnancy) is what my heart could NEVER have let me do.  There is nothing I can do now that can change God's will for the outcome of this journey. Just have to keep trying to stay positive here, and knowing that I have done the best I can do...all the while enjoying all these beautiful weather days with my family I adore so very much.  My family is my light at the end of the tunnel and they are what I fight for.  And Ansen is certainly an important final piece to my family that I love so much.  So I will do what I have to, and just keep having faith that God has not left me alone in any of this.  Need to stay strong...and POSITIVE!

1 comment:

  1. You know what, though? Maybe you NEED some of that anger/fear to push for a safer delivery date. Can your dh go to battle for you?

    I emailed yesterday's entry to my dh, he was pretty ticked, too.

    Actually it is pretty easy for us to get annoyed at the "system" ever since Elijah was plugged into it. They did EVERYTHING by "the system" even though he obviously didn't fit it. So my dh is concerned that they don't seem to be considering your case with the gravity it needs ... but seem to just have the "routine" they are following. Ugh!

    Anyway, you have two folks in KS that are just really praying for you guys and thinking of your family lots. :)

    One thing that was really hard (and is hard) for me to remember, is that GOD is the one in control. I am just remember when Elijah was in the NICU, and it seemed like he would be in there forever, we could get nowhere. It was like running into a brick wall. But God moved mountains for us, in His timing.

    I am going to start praying that God moves some for you guys.