3 weeks from today, we will be facing finding out what the end of this journey will entail. I am both glad that its almost here, but also scared out of my mind that its almost here. I want it over but I don't look forward to going through any of it. Can I just wake up 22 days from now and have it all over please?? I can't even express to anyone the relief I will feel once I wake up and know that I have made it through this all. I will finally be able to get rid of months and months of gut wrenching fear. When I think about holding the "baby that shouldn't be here" for the first time, I start to cry each and every time. After having SOOOOOOOOO many bleak moments this pregancy, it just seems so surreal that there is still a possibility of a happy ending when all is said and done.
Tomorrow morning at 9am, I have my appointment with the gyn-oncologist. That should be interesting. I am hoping she isn't too "barracuda-rish" with me. I cry too easily right now, and I want this meeting to be informative and *maybe* reassuring in some way (especially since she is the one with the most experience with this). I don't want my appt to consist of me simply turning into a blubbery mess the whole time.
In this next 21 days, please pray that my doctors will have the insight they need to get me through this surgery safely. I am hoping that God will work through them, their brains and their hands, to get me the best outcome. I still have so much good to bring into this world, and so much good to instill into my children.
Off to go spend the rest of my day with the 6.5 most important people in the world. God has granted us another gorgeous day, with sun and pleasant temps-its the perfect day to sit outside and give thanks for the simple pleasures of life all around us.