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Thursday, May 20, 2010

NST this morning and a thought....

NST at 930 am, I am sure Ansen will pass it fine, but lets hope the contraction fairy isn't visiting me again (since I only know when I am having them when they are really strong). 

Last night, I was laying in bed, thinking about how my maternal/fetal dr doing surgery (Dr. H) has definately been handpicked for this surgery for me by Someone who knows better then me.  Dr. H reminds me of Dougie Houser.  He is young, always seems deep at though, and is personable enough to give me a high five for not bleeding.  The practice I got completely transferred to has 4 maternal/fetal drs.  They rotate their positions, one will work the ofice, one will work ultrasound, one will work the hospital floors...and I think they leave someone open for surgery at all times. 

When I was told to terminate the pregnancy in the beginning, my 2nd opinion turned out to be from Dr. H, who I met for the first time.  He was working ultrasound.  He was the one that told me the most joyous news of the time, that I did NOT need to terminate my pregnancy.  He also told me that it looked like I was very likely miscarrying my baby, and he was truly sorry.  And he actually seemed sorry, unlike the cold disposition of the ob I had seen earlier that day.  I came in the following week, for another u/s to check out what was going on...and Dr. H was there again, just so happened to be working ultrasound that day again...and he said that sac hadn't changed much and it could go either way at this point.  Those were words of hope for me. 

At 12 weeks, I got completely transferred to maternal/fetal medicine and had my consult, with a new dr....Dr M  He was very reassuring and kind, and I figured since I was consulting with him, he would do my surgery.  But I never really saw him after that.  I always saw the nurse, nurse K, who has been so wonderful to me.  At 25 weeks and 6 days, I went in to hospital that night, bleeding....and who was there-on call for the hospital floor-well it was Dr. H.  He treated me the whole time I was in the hospital, set up my ultrasound and MRI and diagnosed what he saw.  Definite increta with suspected percreta.  I went home finally, and then I saw nurse K again for most of the time.  At 29 weeks, I went in to my appt and complained of some cramping, was put on the strip, and found to be contracting regularly.  I ended up in the hospital again, and Dr. H was AGAIN on call on the floor and took care of me. 

I was going in for weekly appts and  u/s, and all in all, I had never even met one peri, had met 1 at the consult, had met 1 at an appt, and almost all of the rest of my care had been done by Dr. H.  Thats pretty amazing considering its a practice of 4 people that rotate their positions, so most of our meetings with Dr. H have been bc of chance.   I wondered who would  do my surgery, and at 31 weeks, they had their normal weekly meeting about patients and they decided that.  I asked nurse K if they drew straws and she laughed and said no, not exactly.  I guess they had gone back and forth-discussing who would be best for it.  Dr. M (the one I had met at consult) was the chief, with most years of experience, but in the end, Dr. H had offered to do the surgery, saying he felt very comfortable with the situation.   For some reason, that gave me great peace when I found out.

And as I look back now, I realize that I might as well have had a huge, neon, blinking sign on Dr. H, saying "This one is "the one" to do your surgery".   I can only hope that that means that he WILL be the one to preserve/save my life at this surgery.  There must be something special about him, bc I have a hard time believing anything happens by chance anymore, especially when things line up in such a way as this has. 

And as I finished thinking this thought last night as I finally starting to drift off to sleep, this song came on again.  Before the Morning.  Reassuring me to keep up the good fight, that God had me go through this journey for a reason, and that none of this would compare to the joy coming later.  And I fell asleep with positive thoughts and peace on my heart.

1 comment:

  1. I don't know if it was this post, or another one, where you said your dh says things like "It would really suck if you die." but it made me giggle. That so sounds like my dh! It's one of those things that is true, it lets you know they are processing things, but at the same time it's kinda the last thing you want to hear at times ...

    We went through a spell this spring, we actually thought Jonathan might die. It was freaky, hearing him talk about it and trying not to flip out as he details all he wants me to do if he does. Actually, scratch that. I did flip out and go postal on him a few times. :P It is A LOT to contemplate.

    I hope that these last few days can really go as best as possible. You don't need more stress than you have. It will be such a relief to hear that everything is okay. To know the outcome, if they left things in/out/whatever!

    I mean, if it's nerve wracking for me, what on earth can it be like to be living it? I think about you (usually) multiple times a day and feel so panicky when I realize I haven't seen you on FB. I have thought even, perhaps of "friending" your dh on FB so I can perhaps know ASAP how things are after surgery. (And I don't ever never friend but a few guys, usually the ones I taught in Awana years ago and are like little, annoying brothers.)

    I'm dealing with a slew of contractions this week, I can't have much of a pity party, though, because whenever I start to get grumpy I think of you!

    Hang in there. We're still praying, my dh is always asking for updates. :)