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Friday, April 23, 2010

Questioned at times whether I would see myself here....

entering my 30th week!!!  Happy 30 weeks to Ansen....his lungs are maturing by the day and if he was born now, he would have a MUCH easier time then he would have had 4 weeks ago.  I am so happy we have made it this far....and hoping we can get another 2/4 weeks out of this pregnancy. 

I want to ask my doctors about the possibility of delivering at 34 weeks.  They (rather optimistically) want to get me to 36 weeks and honestly, I am afraid that before that magic number hits, it will become an emergency situation.  If I am bleeding before I go into this delivery, I am already heading into this surgery at a disadvantage.  If I am suddenly majorly bleeding, I won't be able to get the balloons in my uterine arteries to help control bleeding  and bc hemmorhaging is my biggest risk.... well it worries the heck out of me.  And as much as I want my baby to be his biggest and healthiest, I also want me to be alive after the whole thing! Babies born at 34 weeks may need a little supplental oxygen, but they are usually just feeders and growers.  I am sure he would do fantastically at 34 weeks. 

So I am going to ask them about this on Monday, and tell them my fears.  They have said time and time again that they NEED to avoid an emergency situation; they need the right people (those prepared for my situation) to be on the schedule and there for the surgery.   I just think that 36 weeks is just too optimistic.  Maybe 34 weeks is too optimistic too.  Most people on the acreta/increta/percreta board I have come across have delivered at about 32 weeks.  Guess we will just have to wait and see. 

So incredibly thankful to have made it to 30 weeks.  My uterus/placenta may be in lousy shape, but they are still sustaining my little boy, so that he can grow and his lungs can continue to mature.  I am so grateful that this pregnancy that looked doomed from the start, has proved to me over and over AND over again what a true miracle it is.  

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