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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I know this is silly....

but I just have this fear that the baby will come on May 6th....and the reasoning why is probably ridiculous.  In our family, there is Doug and I with birthdays on the 31st, Elise and Caden with birthdays on the 9th, and Gavin and Rylan with birthdays on the 5th.  At the beginning of this pregnancy (pre-all this craziness), I was hoping so hard that I could have the baby on the 6th (JUNE 6th, not May 6th) so that Kylie and baby could share a a birthday on the 6th.  So silly, but I just like patterns like that.  Well was just thinking about it tonight and was just sick thinking about if the baby did come on a 6th, like next Thursday-May 6th.  Yes, I know its irrational, but the more I think about it, the more I worry about it...and I think its convinced me that I will start staying at hospital on Monday the 3rd, instead of Friday the 7th.  I know it sounds ridiculous, but I have been debating about when to go in (Monday is 31.5 weeks, Friday is 32 weeks exactly) and I asked Doug to go with his gut and tell me what to do, and he keeps telling me he wants me to check into hospital on Monday.  I was going back and forth STILL up til today, just bc I wanted to sneak in one more week of Doug's work, but my fear of this 6th day thing on top of Doug's feelings just makes me think Monday should be the day I kiss my freedom goodbye for hopefully just a few weeks.  *sigh*  I know I will feel MUCH better when at the hospital, at least medical wise.  I am worried every minute I am here, especially on days like tomorrow when Doug is gone the ENTIRE day/night.  Just going to miss my kids so much...thats what hurts the most about this.  But I have to do this for them, so I can hopefully be there for them after this whole nightmare is over. 

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