I can't wait til this nightmare is officially OVER.
I can't wait to have the unknown FINALLY transition to the known.
I can't wait to not have to worry anxiously about Ansen , every ache and pain, every twinge and movement, or lack of movement.
I can't wait to wake up after the surgery, alive and well....and see my sweet husband first and foremost.
I can't wait to thank my doctors...and most importantly, thank God.....for my safety throughout surgery.
I can't wait to finally reassure my husband that the worst is finally past us.
I can't wait to see my little guy for the first time, to hold him and marvel at the miraculous sweetness of his existence.
I can't wait to introduce my very excited kids to their baby brother.
I can't wait to move positively forward from this journey, and to share my heart and the joy of this journey with the world!
To get to alll this...to my tomorrow night...I am unfortuately going to have to deal with one last not-so-easy day. One last anxiety filled, most certainly very terrifying day. I am NOT looking forward to the saying goodbye to my babies and Doug part, the catheter part, the ivs part, the central line part, the being put to sleep part, the whole unknown part...none of it will be easy. But we are so close now to the hopefully very good stuff part......SOOOO INCREDIBLY CLOSE. I have to remain strong and faithful that God is with me, for the most difficult, but most rewarding part. I started this journey, feeling that God had special plans for this baby....that I couldn't terminate his life...and I begged and pleaded with God, that if He could give Ansen the strength to fight for his life, that I would fight just as hard for his life on my side. Tomorrow will be the culmination of that fight for his life. The answer to my uknowns. And hopefully the first of a great many sweet days of celebrating our victory against placenta increta/percreta.