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Sunday, June 6, 2010

Having some blues....

Mixture of hormone drop and the fact that my poor baby boy is still on a ventilator.  Every time I see him, I cry.  I just feel so bad that we had to rip him out of there so early, that he he had to be born heavily under general anesthetic, and that he is having such a hard time with his very wet lungs now.  I haven't yet been able to hold him and I am having a hard time with that.  I just look at him and I want to pick him up and make sure he is real.  All I can do now is hold his hand and wait until he is feeling better.  I am pumping, and starting to get small amounts of milk for him, although he isn't on feedings yet.  Birth story soon.

4 comments:

  1. ((((HUG)))) 3 days postpartum is really hard emotionally because of the hormone drops. Especially when you know it's your last baby and you can't hold him. Be gentle with yourself today, cry when you need to.

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  2. I agree. I'm praying for your sweet baby boy.. and I just know that he'll be in your arms soon. Take care of yourself.
    -Tracey(Alsip, IL)

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  3. Jessica from nov 07 ddcJune 7, 2010 at 12:20 PM

    I was a mess when my dd was in the NICU...and I was not recovering from a major surgery. I can only imagine what you are going through, Melissa. Please be gentle with yourself. Ansen will get stronger every day. He can feel your presence and hear your voice.

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  4. Kim from Nov07 DDCJune 7, 2010 at 4:08 PM

    Thinking of you and Ansen every day. You have both made it SOOOO far. Keep remembering what a little fighter your Ansen is.

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