Coming home Sunday....

TENTATIVELY that is.  I have learned not to really believe anything til it happens.  Ansen will be coming home on oxygen, monitors, and 6 meds that need to be given pretty much round the clock.  Its kind of daunting, but also exciting to just get him home finally!  Doug and I have to take infant cpr today (requirement to take him home on all this) and then tomorrow night I have to sleep at  hospital in special overnight room, so I can practice with the oxygen, monitors and meds by myself, with support of hospital right there if I have an questions/concerns.  That should be fun.

ON the TMI front, I have some new worries.  Since the hsyterectomy, I have had nothing on the vag. discharge front (which I figured was normal, since I have nothing there anymore).  Well starting yesterday, now I am having yellow/brown and sometimes pink coming out of me.  Its VERY concerning to me, bc its the same colors as the wound fluid coming out of my incision.  I am counting down the minutes right now til I can call my dr this morning and ask about this, but I am guessing its not normal at all....and I am just scared what it could mean.   My visiting nurse is concerned with amount of wound fluid still coming out and said that if I had something like an abscess causing it, they would have to cut me back open and then start this whole packing thing over again.  That would be a nightmare, especially if the baby is home.  I got a referral to wound clinic and they gave me an appt in 11 days.  Guess I will just see what my dr says today when I call up about this.  I would LOVE if he said that its normal by some miracle, but absolutely NOTHING has been normal here, so it just wouldn't surprise me in the least to have some odd complication that would necesitate more surgery.  *sigh* 

Sometimes I feel like I am just barely keeping on the edge of sanity with this all....how much bad luck can someone have.  I try to remind myself how lucky we have been....as bad as things have been, it could have been so much worse.  But I am stressed out.  I Just want to recover and have a moment where I don't have to worry about complications and risks, as well as my baby stuck in NICU.  I want to get to that point where I am 100% recovered and I can finally say that I now certain I made it through this whole mess, healthy and alive.  I am still worried about complications, especially when I am not healing normally, and now having new things showing up.  *another big sigh* 

Well doctors office is almost open, just about time to give them a call about this all.  Can't wait.....