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Monday, February 1, 2010

I had a dream....

Early this morning, I dreamt about my upcoming (WEDNESDAY!!!) ultrasound.  The "BIG" one.  In my dream, the most exciting part of my ultrasound was that my complete placenta previa had completely moved out of the way! I was so elated  It meant that I didn't have to worry so much about all the big, bad complications with having a complete placenta previa and 4 c-sections.  It meant that I could go on vacation in early June and not worry about having a major bleeding incident.  It was just an amazing dream (and I fully thought it was real).  And then in my dream, the tech announced she was going to check the sex, for sure...and suddenly I asked to use the bathroom??  And then I hung out in the bathroom for like half an hour??  Thats when I started to think "what the heck is wrong with me and why I can't I will myself out of this bathroom?  Finally, I got up the courage to get out of the bathroom and go back into my ultrasound room and.................................
THE KIDS WOKE ME UP!!!!  Why do the kids always wake me up at a good part of a dream?? 

I hope on Wednesday that my dream does come true.  I would LOVE a much less complicated pregnancy by being placenta previa-free...just as much as I would love one last girl.  Both seem like a shot in the dark to hope for though.  At my 12 week ultrasound my placenta was starting to cover cervix and by 14 weeks, my placenta was squarely situated on my cervix...the dreaded complete placenta previa.  What are the chances that 4 weeks later, my placenta has decided to set up shop elsewhere?  Low, VERY low due to my past 4 c-sections.  Silly enough, I still hope for a girl too, although my 14 week ultrasound showed VERY swollen parts that very much resembled a boy.  Wishful thinking to hope that was just a SUPER swollen labia?  Yes, indeed.  But the beauty of hope is that you can keep on hoping until you are proven wrong.  So I will hope really hard that my placenta moves up and away from cervix, and I will hope that my baby magically is a girl.  And if placenta doesn't move-certainly NOT likely at all- so be it...I will deal with the challenges that come to bring this baby into the world.  And if baby is the boy that was predicted, I will love him deeply, like all my other children.  And what will I being doing tonight and tomorrow night??  I will be hoping REALLY HARD that I can finish that dream of mine!!!!

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