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Friday, February 26, 2010

Sacrifices of having a larger then average, closely spaced family....

Once upon a time, I once "idolized" another blog writer and her brood of young children, similarily spaced to mine.  But lately, I have seen the light I guess.  Mostly bc I don't understand how she can live the life she does, with the number of young, closely spaced children she has.   The US has an average of 2.1 kids.  And why is that?   Because 2.1 leaves room to have a comfy life still, with 2.1 kids you can still find a babysitter for a week at a time here or there....with 2.1 kids, you can afford the fancy trips once a year to DisneyWorld...with 2.1 kids, you can still buy the fancy, named brand stuff....with 2.1 kids, you can still afford daycare.  I could go on and on.  And after I had my 2.1 kids, I realized how easy my life COULD be.  But my heart yearned for more children.  More children tugged at my soul and wanted to be let into my family.  And so came the sacrifices.

When you have more then the average 2.1 children, especially when they are closely basically give up everything to do so.  You know no one will want to watch your many young children for an extended period of time (HELLO, its EXHAUSTING...I don't blame them at all!!!)  You know when you have many young children, you can't afford fancy vacations/cruises anymore.   With many young children, you give up on the fancy, name brand clothing for the most part.  You know when you have many young children, they are all young enough that they all NEED you-so give up on that career.  After all, you can't afford daycare anyways.   You have to give up on just about everything and dedicate your life as a full time caregiver-its like giving birth to your own private daycare of children. Do you know when the last time I have taken a shower without an audience is (I love that my kids love to set the mood for my shower by turning on and off the lights over and over again.)  Yep, those darn sacrifices we make!!  And for what?  Its exhausting and busy and chaotic...but yet wonderful of course!  Actually, let me take that back, if you are Angeline Jolie, forget all these sacrifices.  You can somehow do it all.  But for those of us average folks, it takes a LOT of sacrifices to enter the club of "mommyhood to many young children".  And its certainly not a life for fact, there aren't that many of us around.

I once idolized this blog because I felt a kinship with one of my own kind.  One mommy of many young children feeling for another mommy of many young children.  We had both made those sacrifices and were living those crazy, busy, exhausting, chaotic, wonderful lives.  And she made it look EASY!!  And she posted beautiful pictures of her life with many young children.  But now, I am seeing that she may talk the talk, but in reality, she doesn't truly walk the walk.  All those sacrifices those of us "normal" mommys to many young children HAVE TO (i.e. no choice but to) give up, she somehow doesn't have to.  But she made it appear that she did.  But then showed she doesn't.  And its hard to understand the facade she has put up.  And honestly,  I have no idea how someone who has many young children can get away with living the life of someone who has few to no children.  But I don't have time to follow and idolize someone that lives the opposite of what I think mommyhood to many young children is all about.  Its not the direction I am looking to head, so its of little value of me to follow.  *shrug*   Instead, I will continue to focus on my kids and my family first, teaching my many young children about life and God and their purpose here on Earth and beyond.  And I will embrace the sacrifices we have made, to have the soon to be 6 children we have been blessed with...and enjoy the rewards of what it brings to our life, each and every day.  These daily rewards that do NOT include money (nor special trips at the drop of a hat) most certainly DO include the joy and precious moments every minute of every day that money can and never will be able to buy!!!


  1. i totally agree! i am mom to five children. i often wondered the same things reading the same blog. i've realized that what fellow moms need is not a vision of unattainable perfection, but another mom being REAL about how hard, rewarding, funny, exhausting and crazy motherhood is! we may not afford cruises or getaways or expensive SUV's but we have a great life. a life i wouldn't trade for all those things! sorry for the rant :) i'll have to check out more of your blog when i'm not so tired :) you can check out mine too, if you're not looking for perfection!

  2. You are a fantastic mother! Your children are blessed to have you! Your (& mine) life is much richer than hers will ever be. As you know, money buys lots of things, but not happiness in your heart. :)

  3. PS - precious children you have!!! :)

  4. great post!! i agree with your words completely! and your kids are spitting images of you guys!! we are currently pregnant with baby number five. and i keep telling myself...we're having one more. i don't even KNOW where that came from, besides god of course. praying the rest of your pregnancy goes well. you're about two weeks and an entire baby :0) ahead of me!

  5. Great Post! I clicked over from MWOP and I think that you write beautifully! I like your honesty... kids are hard (and I only have two!) Props on the adorable family and on 22 weeks!!