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Friday, July 23, 2010

5th debridment done and over with....

These surgeries are getting OLD!!  This one was actually located in a new wing of the hospital, called "daystay".  It was pretty nice there, compared to the rest, down in bottom floor of hospital.   As I was being put to sleep the anesthesiologist told me to relax, that I was breathing "Hawaiian air".  Its funny that I was terrified of being put under general anesthesia, yet here I am....haing had to have to general 6 times now since June 3rd.  I am practicaly a pro now.  When I woke up, it was definately 2 percocet worthy of pain.  Headed home to be with my family, knowing that I had to spend the next day alone with the 6 kids, recovering from this, since Doug has used up ALL his time now.

The next day (yesterday), the visiting nurse came and she measured.  Wound went from 17cnX7cm to 12cmX4 cm.  It also went from 2 cm deep to 6 cm deep, thanks to all the debridding.  Gosh, I hate the word and I hate what they do.  They use scissors and scalpels and pretty much chop and slice any bad tissue away until its nothing but red beefy looking stuff.  The heathy stuff.  So they closed up a substantial amount of this BUT its covering basically nothing but a hole right now....they say that tissue will fill up and in now, eventually to top of skin that they closed.  I wonder how long this will take.  I keep eating my protein, drinking my water and trying to rest as much as I can.  Was really hard to rest yesterday with Doug being gone and the kids being PSYCHO.  I know they are just sick of this all, as sick as I am of it all.  I had to take quite a few percocet yesterday and I was so drowsy and the kids were acting so badly....the morning was very overwhelming.  I finally got the twints to nap, and Ansen to nap in my lap....had 3 big kids turn on a movie, and I was able to lay back and actually rest for a few minutes.  Thankfully, my friend Jenn came over for the afternoon, to distract my psychotic kids and give me something to make the afternoon go by faster.  It was a LONG day, filled with lots of percocet.  And then Heather (visiting nurse) came back and said that one part of stitches looked like it was being really stretched (like that part could let go) and that I REALLY needed to rest as much as possible (which she admitted was the impossible task with all the kids).  I have been really trying not to stress my stomach much, and I am hoping that part doesn't look any worse this morning.

This morning I woke up with no pain meds in my system and I wasn't in tears/clutching the arms of couch kind of pain, so that was nice.  Definately still painful but some pain has subsided since yesterday.  Might be able to alternate percocet and ibuprofin...the straight up percocet all day makes me so nauseous. I am alone with all the kids again-Doug is taking a fire physical exam.like an hour away.  Can't wait til he is home, so I can really rest...but still many hours to go til he gets here.  Ansen will only sleep in my arms now...I might have created a monster....but at the moment, its easier to have him right there anyways, so that I can take care of him without having to move around too much.  Right now, he is napping curled up on my left side.  As long as he is on me, all is right with his world and he will peacefully sleep for hours. 

Throughout all this, no matter how difficult things have been, I have yet to look at Ansen and wish for the easier road.  He was totally worth it.  This journey has indeed majorly sucked at times (most of the time), I am sick of being in pain, tired of operation after operation, just longing for a "normal" life again.  But then I look at Ansen, and he was most certainly meant to be here.  He completes our family and he completes my heart.  I am not in an easy place right now at all, but Ansen has his life bc of it and his life blesses/enriches my life so much.  Just have to keep enjoying my blessings, throughout all the difficult moments (especially through pain-thats one of my biggest hurdles right now).

I just want to heal now and move on. I am hoping that our trial without wound vac will prove to be more helpful to my healing.  Right now, Heather is packing the inside of this with sterile gauze and saline, twice a day.  Here's hoping my tissue is not hindered by any more more dead stuff in there and it can grow, grow, GROW and fill in those areas that need to be filled in.  What a blessing it will be to one day have an intact stomach again.  I get giddy thinking about it. 

*Thank you God, for helping me live through this all, so that I could still enjoy and cherish the world and people around me....all I ask now is to PLEASE help my body heal now.  Thank you.*

2 comments:

  1. Jessica from nov 07 ddcJuly 24, 2010 at 2:21 PM

    Oh, Melissa! I'm so sorry to hear that your recovery has been so difficult! I was away on vacation with limited internet access, so I hadn't checked your blog in a couple weeks. It's no wonder you're feeling discouraged. You've been through so much! I know we've never met IRL, but I'm just down in CT. If it would be helpful for me to bring my kids up to play with yours, to help you rest, I would be happy to do it! It's not much, but I understand a only fraction of what it is like to not be able to care for your children in the ways that you are accustomed. My e-mail address is kanathos at sbcglobal dot net.

    I'm praying for your fast and complete recovery, and also for your spirit to be buoyed and filled with encouragement. Please be gentle with yourself and know that just being present with your children is enough. You are there, you are alive, you love them...and they know this. You will all have many healthy, active years together. It's ok to take your time to heal completely and without complications. Thinking of you and sending lots of love.

    Jessica

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  2. Sounds like an improvement from last week. Day by day, right? I can't believe how strong you are! I can't imagine what you are going through but go easy on yourself. Do you have any high school neighbors that can come help you at all? Wish we lived closer. Hang in there!!!

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