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Monday, November 30, 2009

Exhaustion and Cravings

Still waiting and hoping for an ultrasound at next appt (in 1 week and 1 day) so that I can have some reassurance that baby is doing allright alongside hemmorhage.  Would love it even more though if I had reassurance that baby was doing great and hemmorhage was gone.  But mostly, I am feeling a bit more reassured every day that goes by, even thought I have yet to get that concrete reassurance of another ultrasound yet. 

And the reason why I feel somewhat reassured about everything being allright is bc I am EXHAUSTED all the time!  I sleep 7 hours of sleep (which used to be my normal-felt fully refreshed amount) and I instead feel like I slept 3 hours on a highway.  I fall asleep at 8 or 9 pm on the couch almost every night.  Last night, I missed the end of Desperate Housewives (one of my favorite shows) bc I feel asleep during it...last Tuesday, I turned on and promptly slept through the Duggars (another one of my favorite shows).   So I am thinking that some little person....perhaps about 1 inch stealing all my energy!!  And as tiring as this exhaustion is, it reassures me that everything might really be going allright.  But thats not my only reassurance.

I also am having these cravings.  First, I had to slather hot sauce on everything!  I was having it on breakfast, lunch AND dinner!!  I would be thinking about it all the time and I swear as soon as I thought about it, my mouth would water.  It was absolutely insane.  And then all of the sudden, I had hot sauce the other day and bleh.  Whats the big deal?  I'd rather have eggs.  Oh those glorious eggs.  I start eating two for breakfast EVERY  morning (as opposed to a couple times a week) and I just can't wait for them!  And then I think about how good they were the rest of the day.  And how much I can't wait to have some more tomorrow.   And how I REALLY want some more right now.  But thats okay, I will settle for pizza.  But only pizza with salad all over the top of it.  Just a little bit of balsamic vinagrette on top of salad, but PILE that salad high up on my pizza!  So good.  Weird I never thought of this combination before.  I wonder why?  And then I start to feel a lot little crazy thinking about food so much.  But then that little crazy turns into some more reassurance.   Maybe the culprit behind that exhaustion is behind all this CRAZY food obsessions.  And I smile a little bit, feeling a bit more reassured.

So for now, although I can't see that baby is doing fine, I will continue to hope for the best, while feeling reassured by my nonstop longing for more sleep, eggs, and salad topped pizza! :)

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