this excruciating wait. Inside me, I have this sense of calm that baby is allright..actually moreso that this baby is one heck of a fighter. I also innately don't feel like the baby is IN my scar.
But then I start to second guess myself. Maybe my feelings are off. I have NEVER been one to correctly guess whether my babies were boys or girls (and for the record, I think this is my last girl). Maybe I am just hoping too hard for the best outcome and trying to convince myself that that is the case? Maybe the baby is gone-miscarried like they told me would very likely happen. Maybe the baby is buried deeply into my scar. Maybe my scar is already compromised-splitting open as it gives way to growing baby. SO many deep, dark thoughts in my head at times, swirling all around.
I am hoping for some more answers tomorrow. Hoping REALLY hard for some more positive answers. And going to bring my own list of questions. But that is not til tomorrow and I still have all of today to hope and pray and worry about it. Hope and pray and worry about my baby AND my health. *Sigh*
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