Its been easy for me to feel so proud of what I fought for and how it all turned out. But in reality, I need to give the glory of it all to God...and sometimes I think I am giving myself too much credit and not giving God enough. My faith was what taught me how important Ansen's little life could be back at 6 weeks when I was told to terminate and my faith gave me the strength to continue on day after day....during the toughest of times. Everyone says "you were so strong, how did you do it?" Well without God, I would have surely failed. I would have thought of only me, me, me....and perhaps I would have found that none of this would be in my best interest. But instead, I appreciated and valued that God had created Ansen's little life for a reason....and He didn't create it, only to hand over the right for me to end that life. I knew I had to fight for him, bc who am I to say I personally know more then God's will. God's will lead us down many roads we didn't want to travel, but I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't trudged along the most difficult of travels. And all the time, I was never truly alone. It's a good feeling to know you have God on your side.
I am so grateful that God granted us this last little life....so blessed to have these 6 lives now to mold and shape into the people He wants them to be. I need to remember to give God thanks every hour of every day for the world around us/the people around me/for what we are lucky enough to have. I need to thank God for this changing weather, for the cool weather we are welcoming with open arms, for the pumpkins and the changing leaves and the tights and the sweatshirts and the scarecrows and soccer and a new baby that gets to see fall for the first time, myself getting to experience another fall (at times this last year I wasn't sure if that would be my future), as well as a husband and 5 other excited children, that are giddy with excitment for fall. I am thankful for another year to homeschool my children...another year to teach them and learn so much myself from their young, innocent minds. All of this brought to our family by God.