Just when I thought I was done with the surgeries....

AUGH.  I went to my wound care appt yesterday and bc the two sides ending up healing on two very different planes, its going to take A WHILE for it to be able to meet up.  The dr recommended surgery to fix that and finally close it all for good.  Of course, the first thing I asked was about how much infection risk this surgery would be.  Very minimal, like 1-3 % chance.  He wants to open up the whole thing (but just skin-not my insides this time) and fix the entire thing.  Augh.  So I figured I had time to think about this.  I asked my nurse this morning, and she is just nervous about infection like I am.  Figured I had some time, with so much to think about.  JUST got a call that surgery has been scheduled for........TOMORROW.  Blah.    I feel sick.  I am not looking forward to cutting the skin open again.  Not looking forward to pain.  Or a whole stomach of sutures.  Not looking forward to losing all the mobility I finally have again.  I am so scared of any risks.  I am nervous about potential for infection.  Should I just wait it out another month plus, for this to heal on its own.  Or have this surgery, and *hopefully* from  what I have been told, have the whole area sutured up finally, no holes in my abdomen, no more packing needed, no more daily nurse visits necessary, and 2 weeks from now, I would get sutures out and all would be healed and that would that.  Sounds tempting of course.  Just worried.  You would think I would be an old pro by now....five surgeries later.  Whats another, right??  But it still worries me.  I hate being put to sleep.  And I don't have time to be out of commission anymore.  Here's hoping everything goes off tomorrow without a hitch (if I don't change my mind and run away from the whole thing by tomorrow....)  Blah.