Chronicling my leap of Faith into the deep, dark unknown.
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Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Thy will be done
The sermon this week was about letting God's will be done in your life; to listen to those whispers in regards to what direction he wants you to head in your life. Of course, this sermon couldn't have come at a better time....I am on an hourly (gee, almost minutely) battle at times, between what I personally WANT out of life (I want to find some miracle solution to get out of my house NOW and buy a farmhouse in neighboring, farm animal friendly city, and all the farm animals of my dreams, I want to stop being hounded on a daily basis about homeschooling and our family and my life and just enjoy simpleness at its finest)....but I innately feel like God's will is the polar opposite of everything I want for myself. I have one thing that I feel really strongly that He wants me to do and that he keeps putting on my heart, and I am pretty convinced that leaving our house is not in our cards either (the whole bloom where you are planted thing). And I appreciate it and I try to accept it and bloom a great big bloom....BUT, hey what can I say, I am human and my own personal will is strong and my own desires always cloud God's will; make is easier to ignore that whisper on my soul. I am reading a book called "If God is your co-pilot, switch seats!!" I am a work in progress and I have to keep learning/accepting this. I had to accept it when I tried ferverently (and failed for quite some time) at having our first child, I had to accept it when I had my fourth boy, I had to accept very much so when I went through placenta percreta and subsequent surgeries. And I am still learning/accepting that lesson now, with my husband still looking for work, and with my hopes and dreams so big and so unattainable at the moment. There are quite a few areas of my life that I have become an expert at heeding God's whispers...or putting them off for a short while. But truth be told, the sermon this week was my reminder; my kick in the butt. I need to fully hand over the controls of my life to God, and let us His will be done with our life...and let those whispers of His on my heart grow like Ansen ultimately did!