Monday, December 13, 2010
I am in a mad holiday rush to make all the Christmas gifts on my extensive todolist. Why is Christmas so close already?? This year is a lot different feeling then last year. Last year I wondered if I would have a baby around this Christmas or just a bunch of sad memories. Last year I wondered if they hats I made my family would be nothing more of little reminders to them of my last Christmas. Last Christmas was a very blue Christmas for me. Every morning I woke up cuddled next to Ansen and my heart is bursting. I have this majorly deformed looking stomach that still hurts in a certain area (probably a forever thing) and as much as I hate this ugly stomach, it reminds me of beauty. The beauty of life. The beauty of being a mother. The beauty of family. The beauty of God and His world. The beauty of following God's path, even when the path may not appear so beautiful or wonderful or even worthy to travel. As I make Christmas gifts this year, my heart celebrates. It's a different feeling from last year. And truthfully winter is my least favorite season. I hate the cold, I hate snow and I hate the dark late afternoons. But I am embracing it all, every second of it, because most importantly, Ansen and I get to enjoy it together with our family.